


The Lost One

by Michealis_Mika



Category: HQ - Fandom, Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, BL, Boys' Love, Cemetery, Death, Go crazy, Haikyuu one shot, Kuroo is dying inside, Kuroo is mad in love, M/M, Madness, Mental Ward, One Shot, RIP, Sad, Tears, Tsukki doesn't exist, Yaoi, mad in love, psychologist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 05:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11867349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michealis_Mika/pseuds/Michealis_Mika
Summary: Sometimes, we just can't tell the difference between what is real, and what is not.





	The Lost One

Many times in life, people never cherish the things that are beside them. And that is because the things they yearn to gain blocks their entire line of sight. However, despite its small presence, when it is lost forever, the person suddenly realises just how big of a void it used to fill. And only then, do they realise that they are left with no choice but to cherish it from afar, with only the regrets to fill its empty space.

It was faster than lightning, they were arguing in the car again while driving home when suddenly, a streak of blinding lightning that stroke the ground, accompanied by horrifying claps of roars that temporarily blinded the couple in the car. It caused shrieks to echo throughout the sky as the driver jammed the car break abruptly, slamming into the tree that snapped at the trunk, collapsing and crushing the car that held the couple. And just like that, one precious life was lost on that fateful day. The shrieking cry of the lucky living human in the car could only be described as pain and death. But sadly, the shriek was drowned out by the rain, and so was the soul that was lost...

Three years later, a man was walking along the cherry blossom road, on his way home from work. He had a full black suit completed with a black suit case. His mysterious demeanour made females around him fall in love and males felt at awe every time he was at work. But he cared for none as he continued his lonely way home, tired and just ready to drop dead. He passed by the waters of the lake and decided to get off his track for awhile. He sat down on the wood bench, peering into the wide and vast lake that resembled an ocean more than a lake. As he was breathing in the entire scene, another man sat beside him. "Yo." Kuroo turned his head, away from the breath-taking scenery to face the, just as breath-taking, if not more so, stranger, that ironically was no stranger, who sat beside him. "T—" The blonde smiled, quick to place his long cold finger on Kuroo's lips, speaking in hushed gentle tones, "Shush, it's not your turn to speak yet. Let's enjoy the scenery together. In peace." The strange man turned his head to face the lake, letting his hand drop back to his side. Wordlessly, Kuroo complied. His finger was icy cold, and it left tingles on his warm lips. _A familiar tingle._ As the two stared into the depths of the vast ocean-like lake, the peace was heavenly and neither dared to break it. Until the burning question that was racing within his mind forced Kuroo to break the holy silence. Impatiently, he spat it out, "Are you real?" The man beside him burst out laughing. Ah, that laugh. It was more beautiful than any other sound in the world. "That depends on what your definition of real is. I could be real to me, but I could be an illusion to you." Unsatisfied, but knowing that he would not be able to ask a second question, Kuroo kept his mouth zipped and continued to wordlessly stare at the peaceful scene. It seemed that nothing could go into his brain, except that he had found a new love.

It had been a week since that day, and he had not seen the stranger since then. He was beginning to wonder if he would never see the man again. Perhaps it was just fate. But then, just as he was ready to convince himself he would never see the man again, the stranger had appeared once again in front of him as he was slurping on his cold noodles. He choked and coughed but the blonde stranger only stared at him in amusement, pushing his spectacles up as he enjoyed watching the man suffering who nearly met his death by noodles. "Is that how you greet all your friends Kuroo?" Kuroo growled, coughing a final time to clear his throat as he straightened his back. "It was all because of you, that's why I even choked in the first place damn it." The man feigned shock, placing a hand on his heart and faking an incredibly convincing, "Oh really? How was I not aware of such a thing?" He ended with a sneer and a chuckle that rewarded him with an animalistic growl. The man bit and chewed his lower lip, leaning in just a few centimetres away from Kuroo's ear, whispering sweet words of lust, "I love that growl, and I would love to bathe in it, Kuroo." The other man groaned, grumbling out as he reasoned that he was currently eating his dinner. Kuroo did not want to entertain anyone when he was eating, especially in public areas.

_Alas, the man placed a hand on his arm. Kuroo emptied his bowl of noodles. The man played with the little ends of his hair. Kuroo paid for the food and prepared to leave. The man stood up. Kuroo left the restaurant and began his track back home. The man hugged him from behind. Kuroo stopped in his tracks._

Underneath the moonlight, the couple stood alone on the empty road that led to a children's playground. "I... didn't mean to leave you." Kuroo clenched his fists. _'What did he mean?' 'What is he talking about?' 'I don't understand.'_ They were meant to roll around and cause havoc in his mind, but strangely, he was blank. He was always blank when he was with the other man. And he despised it. But he could do nothing. The only thing he could feel was the cold embrace of the other man and the tears that slowly but surely began to soak through his shirt as he stared up to the moon. Wishing, just wishing to know what it was that he was missing.

The next time they met, the man had taken residence on the untouched chair beside his own one day as Kuroo was about to doze off from watching his usual volleyball live television. "Go on, sleep, I know you are tired. So take a rest." The blonde gently stroked his spiky-like hair that was surprisingly soft like a new-born's hair. "But... you're here." Kuroo frowned. The male just clicked his tongue, speaking in a demanding voice, "you had better take a rest if not, I'll make sure you regret it." Kuroo could only think, _'I can regret nothing anymore.'_ But why he could not regret anymore, _that_ , he did not know the answer. His mind did not wander around the question for long as the male gently combed Kuroo's hair with those long, soft fingers just right. The next scene that played out was inevitable. Kuroo could not fight against his eyelids that were getting heavier, and with a sigh, he closed his eyes drifting off into a deep sleep with comfort. A sleep that he had not experienced for years.

"Don't forget to pick up the newspapers from the store downstairs later, it's Friday so the uncle doesn't send the newspapers up." The man grabbed a strawberry milk carton from the fridge, closing it and downing the carton in one go. Kuroo yawned, pulling on his usual clothes and freshening himself up within a matter of minutes. He breezed through the kitchen, spreading some nutella on his bread and expertly stuffing the entire slice into his mouth in a second. He grabbed the milk from the man's hands and finished the carton, feeling good. "That was my breakfast Kuroo!" The shocked tall blonde pouted, crossing his arms. Kuroo grinned, replying, "I'll give you some of my fresh strawberry milk later when I get home from work~" The man blushed and pushed his spectacles up, retorting with a weak, "N-no thank you." Kuroo threw his head back, laughing. "Then, see you after work?" The be-spectacled man nodded his head silently and waved good bye, still adorning a strong rosy red on his cheeks.

"Kenma!" The cat-like boy tossed the ball up. Kuroo's eyes flashed and sparkled, his agile body swinging from side to side as he spun and jumped up into the air, hands swinging back and spiking down the ball across the net. The ball spun down to the floor, slamming against the hard concrete and bouncing off the floor before the opponent team could even flinch. _Another cheer for Kuroo's team!_ "Good job Kuroo~" A familiar voice sounded and Kuroo immediately dropped his celebratory smile, turning around to see the clapping four-eyed blonde. "Ts—" A volleyball hit the back of his head, causing him to fall forward. The blonde laughed and walked away, "have fun!" Those words were like sharp knives, stabbing deep into his heart. For the rest of the day, Kuroo's team kept on losing. And it was all his fault.

Kuroo had been wondering just where on earth had the blonde gone to. He had been seeing the man more often, as well as less. That was because he almost saw him everyday, but the meetings were getting shorter and shorter, and each time it was his fault. So he made sure he was energetic and free today. However, as he took a short stroll to get some milk, he caught sight of the seemingly-busy man that never left his thoughts. "Oi!" The blonde froze, turning around to see the man in black carrying one strawberry-flavoured milk carton. "Where were you?" Was what Kuroo wanted to say, but the blonde won him by a breath.

"Please, let me rest, let me go." And just like that, the blonde turned back around and took off. _'A break-up?'_ Kuroo cursed, dropping the milk and taking off to chase after him.

Unknowingly, he had ran and ran for what felt like hours, chasing the blonde's back until he had reached a cemetery. Why of all places would the man he loved run into a cemetery, he would never know, but he continued, following the back of the blonde.

Each time he got closer, the blonde would increase his speed as well, and Kuroo growled, grumbling in his head that he had to fall for such an athletic man. But as he was complaining, he carelessly tripped on a tree branch, sending his entire body flying forward to the floor. Kuroo landed on the grassy ground with a rather painful 'oomph', which led him to curse beautifully as he spat out dirt from his mouth. Groaning, he picked himself up from the floor painfully, swearing that he could feel a few of his bones popping out from his body. But the sight before his eyes seized all breath from his lungs and he failed to move from his half push-up position. What could have possibly stopped his entire body from moving?

Ah, a gravestone with a very dear and special name was carved into the stone. The name had tore open a scarred wound enclosed deep within his heart. He gasped. He was sure he just saw the man with the same name a mere moment ago, he was even chasing him! How was it possible that he was seeing the very same name on a gravestone? Perhaps it was just someone with the exact same name, he reasoned, but his name was so special, so it was impossible. Moreover, it would be pure luck to have the same name, in the same district, no less. But as his eyes crawled up to the top of the stone, there was a marbleised picture of the deceased.

He gasped and choked back a cry. He remembered now. The regret and pain that flooded his soul with renewed vigour made him feel like he could almost die right there and then. He collapsed back to the ground, crying his heart out as the dark clouds rolled in, signalling the end of another sad chapter. His frightfully painful scream was once again drowned out by the thunderous roar that shocked the city, filling the sky with light that could easily blind.

_Kuroo slammed the bottom of his palm against the wheel, screaming, "can't you just listen to me for once and go to that university Tsukki! You don't have to worry about money, you can help after you graduate or something!" Tsukishima shouted back, his own voice cracking, "what would happen if I left all the financial burden on you huh? What are you gonna do? Take up three jobs at the same time to feed yourself and pay for my school fees? No Kuroo, I won't let that happen!!" Kuroo let out a frustrated growl, "yes I will take up three jobs if need be! Your future is at stake here Tsukki! Your parents can't support you anymore because they are not here anymore Tsukishima! You need to let me be the replacement of them in financial terms at the very least!" Tsukishima sucked in a hard breath, throwing daggers into Kuroo's head. "What happened to my parents are not your concern, I don't need "parently" figures to live my life. I am an adult now." Kuroo gripped his wheel so tight he swore he could feel the material slowly tearing apart. "For the last time, Ts—" Tsukishima slapped Kuroo, screaming, "just let me die already! I will never go to university if I burden you! So if I die, won't all your burdens just go away?! Is that what you really want Kuroo? Because I can-" The horrifying screams of pain and agony that drifted along was not to be unheard. The pleas of an angered man was heard, and granted. The wrong pleas to call out for, but nevertheless, it was said and done._

_"I am sorry."_

It was what he wanted to say that time at the court, and that was what he wanted to say that time in the car, but he never had the chance. And he never would have the chance.

_The bottles filled with pink capsules were pushed towards Kuroo. "Take this pills three times a day, once when you awake immediately, once more after lunch and at night." Kuroo slipped the pills into his pocket, nodding his head and proceeding back home. His eye-bags drooped from his eyes and he felt drained and tired and just dead. He reckoned the pills were the cause of his extreme fatigue and lack of emotions, so due to the lack of better judgement, he flushed down the pills he had just been prescribed a few hours ago. He was foolish to ever flush those pills down. Kuroo had been sent to several physiatrists during the course of one month and none could really cure him. He was basically the world's most depressed, mad man in the world. And he was on the run for freedom._

He was more than foolish, and now he was suffering the consequences of not taking those pills. How he regretted not cherishing the very man he loved with all his heart and soul. Now he could only live his days chasing the very man he loved. The man he knew was no longer real, the man he never got to apologise to, the man who was the only one he wanted.

_A love tragedy between hallucination and reality._

Shouts and blurred out voices rang in his ears and Kuroo struggled to get free, arms roughly twisted behind his back as he was forced into a straight jacket. He bit and growled and screamed, trashing about in an attempt to break free. But the men had shot him down, causing him to instantly mellow down to the point of where he was devoid of emotions. Shortly after the successful capture, Kuroo was sent back to his mental ward, where this time, the entire room was barred and double locked without any windows. They could not let Kuroo escape anymore.

_"Here lies the beloved Tsukishima Kei, dutiful lover and a warm family member of the Kei Family. May he forever live in peace and be remembered forever by his peers as a wonderful man."_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr @kamihikou
> 
> Link : http://kamihikou.tumblr.com/post/161332010394/kurotsuki-the-lost-one
> 
> *edited and checked


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